The Unexpected Vegetarian
By Veggie
Gal Lisa Tuck
A committee meeting I was
attending lasted longer than anticipated,
so our host offered to have food brought
in for lunch. I needed to leave shortly
anyway, so I declined and told him I was
going to get a tofu burrito at the Oakland
airport. As one, the other people at the
meeting, all of whom happened to be men,
turned to look at me with varying degrees
of horror. Each shook his head, looked
at the others, looked back at me, then
resumed writing on our project. After
a minute, our host snorted and said, “I
just can’t see you as a vegetarian.”
Genuinely surprised, I asked him why.
As he continued to write, he shook his
head again and said, “Because you’re
not … skinny!” Nonplussed,
and a little unsure just how to take that,
I sat back in my chair and finally managed
to reply, “Um, thank you?”
You may not recognize a
vegetarian when you see one. We’re
out there, though, and tend to show up
when you least expect it. It may happen
when your son is bringing his first serious
girlfriend home from college. Twenty minutes
before they are scheduled to arrive—and
fifty minutes before you are planning
to surprise them with his favorite dinner
of lasagna and Caesar salad—he calls
to ask if he had mentioned she is a vegan.
It might occur when your 35-year old sister
suddenly gives up meat. She is steadfast
and refuses to eat like a normal person,
even during the holidays. Don’t
despair! You can very likely feed your
vegetarian using items you already have
on hand, in perfect harmony with everyone
else.
Let’s take the girlfriend
scenario above. You already have the lasagna
made and ready to put in the oven. You
have the ingredients for the Caesar salad,
but you haven’t put it together
yet. How can you possibly transform this
dinner to a vegan one? The answer is that
you can’t. Don’t try! Your
vegan doesn’t want everyone else
to have to forego all meat and dairy just
because she does. She wouldn’t be
with your omnivore son if that were the
case. Go ahead and put your lasagna in
the oven. It is your son’s favorite
dish, after all. For your vegan, put some
of the Romaine lettuce into an individual
bowl and serve it with balsamic vinegar
dressing and homemade croutons. For her
main dish, sauté whatever vegetables
you have in your refrigerator with cooked
pasta, canned beans and olive oil. If
you are making garlic bread, leave a couple
of slices unbuttered for dipping in olive
oil and herbs.
Your dinner is a huge success!
Conversation is lively and everyone is
relaxed. Your son’s girlfriend is
pleased you had something she could eat.
(It is a toss-up when a vegetarian is
invited to dinner and there is nothing
he can eat as to who is the more embarrassed:
the vegetarian or the hostess.) Your son
is completely oblivious to your brief
moment of panic and is thrilled that his
girlfriend had such a nice time. You are
delighted everything was so easy—and
that the girlfriend is a jewel. All in
all, it is a warm welcome home.
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